TO AXL ROSE: THE LETTER WE OWE YOU

written in two voices

It was last week that, in an instant that I froze in my memory forever, I returned to be 12 years old and you were 30 again. It was when, among the crowd in ecstasy, I saw you appear on that giant stage, when your voice made me run back the 25 years that separated our paths, that this feeling of synchrony imposed on everything else. "It's so easy" marked the apotheosis of the entrance and was the beginning of a journey back in time, in my history and in the history of Guns N' Roses.

Because this concert was a piece of history. A story that is shared with many thousands (I fear to fail for modesty) of people around the world, who grew up with your band's songs, who cried and laughed, who learned a little of what life could be. When you are 12 years old, all words seem to matter too much, and those you sang became personal history flags.

Did you know that on a rainy day in November, I started to draw a smile on my face? Can you imagine how often I sang Estranged while I was 28?

The songs succeeded, in a soothing eagerness of those who waited too long. And perhaps because of this, all absences were noticed, too noticed. Despite all the criticisms that are often directed at you Axl, you have been blameless. You asked us if we agreed that the evening was fine and it was enough to have us by your side for the three hours we spent together. 

Do you remember, Axl, when in St. Louis insane hell hit the stage when a guy kept filming you when you asked him to stop? Cameras are so weak at capturing the essence. I couldn�t record the concert, Axl. It was too good and i just couldn�t.

Twenty-five years ago, if my path had crossed yours, I would have also crossed over with Chris Cornell's. Soundgarden was the first band in the concert of Guns N' Roses in the stadium of Alvalade and this time you brought him back to us again. So that we would hear it one more time. And You gave us the smile followed by a shrug, during �Coma�, as you ended the verse "I never really wanted to live" and we remembered that everything that you have passed has not been easy. Deep down, it never was, right Axl? And, maybe that's what brings us so close. This deep empathy with the sufferings of existence. As I once saw in Slash's t-shirt "Life's a bitch and then you die". But it is an existence that also has very good things. Like the concert last week. And it is through them that it makes sense to yell, as often as necessary, the �Get in the ring�. And that is why we ask that this is not the last farewell.

Because that's how you are Axl. Good and bad. Angel and demon. Human and unbearable. And although you did not always receive it in your life, you managed to give us the understanding and support that we needed, you managed to transform into art the toxicity of your life. And it became part of us. The good part of us.

�If you need a shoulder

Or if you need a friend

I'll be here standing

Until the bitter end.�

From Liliana Garcia and Catarina Janeiro (the two best childhood friends you've also gathered).

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A carta que te devemos � escrita a duas vozes

Foi na semana passada que, num instante que congelei na minha mem�ria para sempre, eu voltei a ter 12 anos e tu voltaste a ter 30. Foi quando, por entre a multid�o em �xtase, te vi surgir naquele palco gigante, quando a tua voz me fez recuar os 25 anos que separaram os nossos caminhos, que este sentimento de sincronia se imp�s a tudo o resto. O �It�s so easy� marcou a apoteose da entrada e foi o in�cio de uma viagem no tempo, na minha hist�ria e na hist�ria dos Guns N' Roses.

Porque este concerto foi um peda�o de hist�ria. Uma hist�ria que � partilhada com largos milhares (temo pecar por mod�stia) de pessoas por esse mundo fora, que cresceram com as m�sicas da tua banda, que choraram e riram, que aprenderam um pouco do que a vida poder� ser. Quando se tem 12 anos, todas as palavras parecem importar demasiado, e as que cantavas tornaram-se estandartes de hist�ria pessoal.

Ser� que sabes que um dia de chuva em Novembro passou a desenhar-me um sorriso nos l�bios?  Ser� que imaginas as vezes que cantei a Estranged enquanto tive 28 anos?

As m�sicas sucederam-se umas �s outras, numa �nsia calmante de quem esperou demasiado. E talvez por isso, todas as aus�ncias foram notadas, demasiado notadas. Apesar de todas as cr�ticas que frequentemente te s�o dirigidas Axl, estiveste irrepreens�vel. Perguntaste-nos se concord�vamos que a noite estava �ptima e foi o suficiente para nos teres a teu lado durante as tr�s horas que pass�mos juntos. Lembras-te, Axl, quando em St. Louis fizeste o inferno subir ao palco quando um tipo continuou a filmar-te quando lhe pediste para parar? As c�maras s�o t�o fracas a capturar a ess�ncia. N�o tive tempo para te filmar. Foi demasiado bom para que me tivesse lembrado. 

H� 25 anos atr�s, se o meu caminho se tivesse cruzado com o teu, teria tamb�m cruzado com o do Chris Cornell. Soundgarden foi a primeira banda do concerto de Guns N' Roses no est�dio de Alvalade e tamb�m agora o trouxeste de novo at� n�s. Para que o ouv�ssemos mais uma vez. � no sorriso seguido de um encolher de ombros com que, durante a "Coma", terminas o verso �I never really wanted to live� que intu�mos que tudo o que passaste n�o tem sido f�cil. No fundo, nunca foi, pois n�o? E, talvez seja isso, que nos aproxima tanto. Esta t�o profunda empatia com os sofrimentos da exist�ncia. Como dizia, em tempos, a t-shirt do Slash �Life�s a bitch and then you die�. Mas � uma exist�ncia que tamb�m tem coisas muito boas. Como o concerto da semana passada. E � por elas que faz sentido entoar, as vezes que forem necess�rias, o "Get in the ring". E � por isso que te pedimos que esta n�o seja a �ltima despedida.

Porque � assim que tu �s Axl. Bom e mau. Anjo e dem�nio. Humano e insuport�vel. E, apesar de nem sempre o teres recebido na tua vida, conseguiste dar-nos a compreens�o e o apoio que precis�mos, conseguiste transformar em arte a toxicidade da tua vida. E isso passou a fazer parte de n�s. Da parte boa de n�s.

Liliana Garcia e Catarina Janeiro (as duas melhores amigas de inf�ncia que tu tamb�m voltaste a reunir).